Christmas

Well, yesterday was interesting. I had family dinner with the maternal side. (here-forever referred to as "the dark side") As the first to arrive, I was able to witness the host furry demons (cats) walking all over the tables and counters. As you may have guessed the plates, cutlery, condiments and snacks were laid out; and their dirty little litter-box feet were tromping through it all leaving behind a layer of hair and grit. After a while the royal coach pulled up. It was a sad sight to see the once regal "Matriarch", now grey, near blind and hunched over a walker with a helper on each arm. After the pleasantries of hugs & kisses all round, we settled into dinner, adults with plates on laps and children kneeing, huddled around a foot stool as a table. It was about this time that the now frail Dragon stuck, its venom hurtling toward the youngest, "if you don't clear your plate Santa will not be coming" and shortly after followed by "be good or I'll be writing a letter to Santa". It caused me, inwardly, to recoil in fear. Keeping my 'fight-or-flight' response in check took a lot of control as memories of long ago resurfaced, filling my soul with unease. My earlier feelings of sympathy for the Dragon were suddenly replaced anger as I realized that these young ones are being forced to endure the same poison that I grew up with.

I held my tongue and the rest of the evening was uneventful. The meal was good and the desert interesting. We all chatted for a bit before the gathering dissolved and the frail dragon was escorted out to her waiting carriage. I was now free to say my good byes and leave the dark-side. My long drive was a chance for me to reflect, and I kept wondering; how many generations will be infected by this "Dragon". I do believe that she loves us all very dearly... Its the way it comes across... causes a lot of hurt bruised feelings for some (like me).

Today is a new day.

Happy Christmas, time gentlemen, please.

Good Morning,

My partner says I should "blog" my rants. I do get into a verbal rant often, I find it helps me absorb things I have no control over. (I almost used the word 'accept', but I usually don't accept the things I rant about.)

For those who don't know me, I'm not a good writer. I've always had trouble putting my thoughts on paper. Even now when I look back on what I've read, it seems disjointed, choppy, the thoughts don't flow. Well, I'm going to continue and try not to look back on what I've just written. It probably means that this will turn out like a load of gibberish.

Here goes:

This time of year has never been my favorite. Oh, f*ck, who am I kidding, favorite... lets try, I dread this time of year. I can't pin it down to one particular day or event in my past. It just a feeling that comes over me and gets worse with every commercial for toys and HO HO HO crap that I here and see. Why can't people just enjoy each other without the need to go into debt. Most of the stuff that is marketed to us is unnecessary, unneeded, and way overpriced. What's wrong with a nice visit, a good meal and a day off work? Why the guilt trip from some? It's subtle, it can be the tone or even what is not said, but I feel obligated. Its not that I don't want to... Its that I feel I HAVE to.

I have a friend (yes, go ahead, laugh, one friend). When I was a teen, I would spend Christmas with him and his family. It was enjoyable, fun, no pressure. I know it pissed off my mom and grandma to no end that I would rather spend the day with "strangers" than with "family". But to me they were family and I remember those Christmas's very fondly. My early memories at the Dragonlady's (nickname given by my best friend) are of bickering and slamming doors and yelling and tears. Not the best memories for a young lad on Christmas day.

There was also the spending, what seemed like endless spending of money our family didn't have. Spent on trinkets and toys for a few moments of fun, with bills to last months or years. As a boy I knew our family didn't have money. It didn't matter to me. My dad was an honest man, a hard worker and my mom was home raising us boys the best she knew how. Why did Christmas have to come around every year an throw our little family further into debt?

Don't misunderstand. I have one good memory of a Christmas when I was young. I received a bike. I think I was 10 or possibly 11. Under the tree was a gold 3 speed. It was a second hand english style 3 speed. I know that my dad found that bike for me. To this day that was the best gift I can remember receiving.

I'm running out of steam and I promised myself that I would not go back and reread what I just wrote, so I'm just going to click the Post button.

But before I do... to those parents out there, its not about the amount of money you spend. Maybe this year, a secondhand bike and a no pressure meal, will create the best memory.

Time Gentlemen, please.

a Friend

Today I was reminded of yesterdays. I find it odd that I often look back on trying times with... fondness. Its not really fondness, but something almost comforting. Perhaps it is the fact that things did work out. No matter how awful the circumstances at the time I got thru it.

The really strange thing is that this hindsight is never nearby when I am experiencing a difficult or stressful event. I wonder why, the very lessons learned in life are so far from my mind when they are most needed?

Time, gentlemen.

A good day

Well I was out to the North Island Wildlife Recovery Centre. Its in Errington, just up the street from were I live. Its well worth the visit. The work they do with injured animals is amazing. I will definitely go back again, as I like bears and its cold right now so as you guessed it, the bears are sleeping and I didn't get to see them. There are many animals that are being cared for at the centre and lots of beautiful birds.

After the NIWRA I went for my normal sunday drink at The Longwood. I usually stop in on sundays to get a couple of "growlers". My favorite here is the ESB. I don't find the food is worth the cost but the beers are outstanding.

If you are looking for a wonderful pasta in Nanaimo check out Alexandra's. The food is superb. But not open for lunch on sundays.

Time, gentlemen, please.

Correction:

I showed my partner my new blog, and apparently I must change the statement "a few poor choices" to read "all my choices..." . She said it makes me sound depressed. Who says I'm not!

Anyway, yesterday I enjoyed a very nice beer at the "Fox & Hounds", it was called Heritage Mild. I highly recommend it; and also try the Steak and Stilton pie. (very yummy)

I'm off to the N.I. wildlife sanctuary.

Time, Gentlemen! please.

first post

I have never blogged before, I may need some suggestions.
ME:
I'm nobody, just an average guy. A few poor choices in life have molded me into whatever I am.
I have many strong opinions... and I may share a few in future posts.
Today I just want to say Hi! and learn how to set up the blog.