Good Morning,

My partner says I should "blog" my rants. I do get into a verbal rant often, I find it helps me absorb things I have no control over. (I almost used the word 'accept', but I usually don't accept the things I rant about.)

For those who don't know me, I'm not a good writer. I've always had trouble putting my thoughts on paper. Even now when I look back on what I've read, it seems disjointed, choppy, the thoughts don't flow. Well, I'm going to continue and try not to look back on what I've just written. It probably means that this will turn out like a load of gibberish.

Here goes:

This time of year has never been my favorite. Oh, f*ck, who am I kidding, favorite... lets try, I dread this time of year. I can't pin it down to one particular day or event in my past. It just a feeling that comes over me and gets worse with every commercial for toys and HO HO HO crap that I here and see. Why can't people just enjoy each other without the need to go into debt. Most of the stuff that is marketed to us is unnecessary, unneeded, and way overpriced. What's wrong with a nice visit, a good meal and a day off work? Why the guilt trip from some? It's subtle, it can be the tone or even what is not said, but I feel obligated. Its not that I don't want to... Its that I feel I HAVE to.

I have a friend (yes, go ahead, laugh, one friend). When I was a teen, I would spend Christmas with him and his family. It was enjoyable, fun, no pressure. I know it pissed off my mom and grandma to no end that I would rather spend the day with "strangers" than with "family". But to me they were family and I remember those Christmas's very fondly. My early memories at the Dragonlady's (nickname given by my best friend) are of bickering and slamming doors and yelling and tears. Not the best memories for a young lad on Christmas day.

There was also the spending, what seemed like endless spending of money our family didn't have. Spent on trinkets and toys for a few moments of fun, with bills to last months or years. As a boy I knew our family didn't have money. It didn't matter to me. My dad was an honest man, a hard worker and my mom was home raising us boys the best she knew how. Why did Christmas have to come around every year an throw our little family further into debt?

Don't misunderstand. I have one good memory of a Christmas when I was young. I received a bike. I think I was 10 or possibly 11. Under the tree was a gold 3 speed. It was a second hand english style 3 speed. I know that my dad found that bike for me. To this day that was the best gift I can remember receiving.

I'm running out of steam and I promised myself that I would not go back and reread what I just wrote, so I'm just going to click the Post button.

But before I do... to those parents out there, its not about the amount of money you spend. Maybe this year, a secondhand bike and a no pressure meal, will create the best memory.

Time Gentlemen, please.